Acknowledging Synthetic Intimacy: Conquering Feelings of being Unwanted or Isolated
Artist: Wangechi Mutu
I don’t think a lot of people talk about this because it can be looked at in a shameful way or people might be embarrassed to discuss it. This is a real emotion people deal with and it can distort how you deal with people in the future.
I’m here to help you conquer these feelings and set yourself free from them.
I need you to bear with me though, because a lot of what I am going to discuss will seem way out there. Its hard for the mind to fathom because of the conditioning and programming of the world.
The current state of the modern world as it is – is full of illusion, false desires, and confusion. People are basing what they want and desire solely off of trends and status. What the collective is moving towards. There is a disconnect to what the soul is here to do and this is why there are groups of people in the world feeling unwanted or left out.
Trust me, you are not alone in feeling this. You just aren’t. I’ve talked to many clients and even experienced these feelings on my own. To the point where if I do interact with someone, I feel a sense of immediate obligation to them because that flight or fight response of “not wanting to be abandoned” or left alone kicks in.
As human beings, we crave community. We crave people looking for us and depending on us in certain ways. We want to feel useful. We cannot survive without connecting to others. However, in the modern age, the way we connect with others is the synthetic version: through the internet, through a screen, through words and no action or warmth. It’s like taking a quick hit of a drug consistently – random dopamine releases throughout the day from random engagement on the internet – we become dependent on it.
Even simply talking on the phone with someone is better. Which is why spaces or clubhouse rooms can improve feeling connected even in the slightest. Why? Because there is warmth to a voice. There is intimacy created from hearing someone’s voice in real time. It’s not manufactured, edited, or misinterpreted. People can decipher a lot about how someone is feeling or even just their energy through tone.
The trauma of enduring this pandemic has a lot of us feeling lost and blocked from intimacy. We are making up means and finding different ways to connect with others. There’s only so much synthetic connection you can take. Why? Because the warmth isn’t there. We begin making up definitions of the energy that is being given to us. Emojis and words don’t cut it. We start to ASSUME things. In some cases, we even get possessive.
Whereas, in real life we can feel the aura of others when in their presence. We can sense what is real and tangible. Screen energy isn’t tangible. We muster up all the emotions on our own based on how our brain is transmitting the symbols we see. We put down the phone or the laptop and we are in reality. We are in the now.
The NOW is starting to seem very dull to a lot of people.
Saturn is in Tropical Aquarius and even Jyotish Guru, Sanjay Rath, says to use tropical zodiac for weather. WELL.. the Social weather in general is being limited and blocked. Aquarius rules friend groups, social settings. Saturn is scarcity, misery, limitation, blockages.
For a lot of people—friendships have been terminated. No one is checking for you. No one is reaching out. And honestly, are you checking for people too? No.(or maybe you’ve given up) Especially the connections that were superficial or based on your past self. You are wanting to move on but there’s nothing to move on to.
As cliché as it sounds: yeah, it will get better. Saturn will move and so will the nodes and life. It just takes a while.
But I’m trying to emphasize the EFFECTS that this has on the human psyche. I am no psych major (I should be at this point) but it will be difficult to have healthy engagements with people coming out of this transit. We will be a bit cold and craving warmth, you see.
Synthetic Intimacy can be transmuted into Authentic Intimacy if BOTH parties agree to focus their attention on creating something like that. People aren’t even aware of how synthetic intimacy has been slowly merged into the norm: people watching your every day life through stories, people knowing how you feel on every day basis without really engaging. AURA OPEN AND LEAKING. We make a habit out of living this way and then people force authentic bonds onto people without their knowledge or “consent” (7H).
We forget the 6th house when it comes to relationships. Before relationships even become an agreement, you have to communicate and work out the kinks (6H). And sometimes this is a daily effort. 6th house is the house of routine, health, habits, etc. Someone has to become a like a “habit” for you to engage with in order to want to really establish a connection with them. A daily thought or desire to connect, you see.
Social media has made it so that we subconsciously have created these habits with MANY PEOPLE without having to directly engage with them. This is why I’ve called it Synthetic.
People have even started EXPECTING this synthetic intimacy from others because of how easy it is to have access to people. “Oh you didn’t respond?” “Oh you didn’t engage with my post?” Then people start projecting their perception onto others: “You FOR SURE did this” “you SAID this” “THIS is what you meant” (when that’s not what the person meant)
The internet has an “unlimited” amount of information but it isn’t as unlimited as the human mind. We can’t help but to feel the way we want to feel. We ALL want to feel needed, wanted, and engaged with and social media does soothe those desires but at what cost? To take focus away from being grounded.
People sometimes start believing that the bonds they’ve formed hold weight in other people’s lives—when it’s not always the case. So now where’s back at square one. How do we deal with these emotions of not feeling satiated on an intimate level as we end 2021?
Synthetic Intimacy has become the substitute for Authentic Intimacy for quite a while. Has social media become an extension of yourself (Rahu)?
TAKE BREAKS. Actual breaks. Disconnect. (easier said than done when you’ve made a habit) Real connections will miss you if you are consistently focusing your energy on synthetic. You can take a vacation from this—a week, two weeks. Open up your energy to the real world so that REAL connections can find you. Social Media will still be here when you return. Face those feelings of being alone instead of constantly searching for soothing. We are supposed to feel uncomfortable before the change happens. When we don’t confront it, we continue to delay the processing.
It has been researched that our electronic devices are one of the leading reasons for anxiety and depression in young adults. The stimulation that it activates in the brain makes us seek it out for excitement. Pleasure.
My profession deals with social media (content creator and astrologer) so, I have to find other ways I intentionally disconnect throughout the day. I also cannot use social media as a place to vent and a place to work. That only comes through authentic connections. So you know I keep a journal on me!! Pen and paper baby! I also enjoy writing music and singing. Listening to music with intention makes me feel connected to spirit on a different level.
You have to ask yourself WHY being alone and feeling disconnected temporarily is so painful. Then work on that. The past is more harmful than the future because it’s what has made up the present. Often we are disappointed with past mistakes or situations that have caused harm. Instead of processing, we ignore and search for another stimulant to attach our minds to.
Luna Giiselle